The Story of the Machaca

Ok so heres a story about the day my wife and I ran out of food in Northern Costa Rica about six hours boat ride from civilization

So we had been invited to visit a friends Finca(farm) along the Rio Sarapiqui about 5 or 6 hours canoe ferry ride north of Puerto Viejo de Sarapiqui. It was our impression that this farm was close to a supermarcado and that we would be able to replenish our food at will. Background....we were total gringos--2 weeks after arrival to Costa Rica--Spoke out of a book--didnt even know how to say food. We arrive at the farm after an all day long back road trip down grusome road that makes the Uranium Mine roads in Northern Canada look good.

We were told that if we had any problems to get ahold of the guy that looks after the farm who was in a house across the Croc filled river. So after a few days of rationing we knew we were going to run out of food the next day. We sat up that night and drank the last of our alcohol stash(cheap rum) which was stocked up pretty good. Our canoe ferry(the only one a day) came strolling by between 5-6:30am we were told. Do you think we could get out of bed.Nope. The howler monkeys mixed with frogs and birds and 110+heat make for the worst hangover you can imagine. So now we have no food and no booze and are hung over with a half of a bottle of water. The farm had tons of fruit and about ten chickens running around.

So I set out to catch fish and provide for the family--like a man would do. I spent all day with thousands of dollars worth fishing lures and a virgin river fishing my ass off. I casted and casted and casted. Dehydrated. Moral as low as it gets I walked through the jungle back to the shack to meet my wife who had drank all the water sitting in the shade and occasionally venturing to work on her tan. She had been waiting around reading in the shade. Thinking her husband who fishes for a living could at least catch a fish for dinner. Well here I am burnt up from the sun empty handed, in dier need for water.looser

So when I came to realize we werent eating fish I thought of catching an iguana and eating legs. Read they were sold in markets and figured that it couldnt be that bad. So now Im walking the forest edge serching for a big enough lizard thats slow enough to be caught and eaten(all I could find were elusive green Basalisks) when all the sudden some kid about 12 years old pops out of the forest and trys to carry on a conversation with me. I tried explaining that we needed something to eat and that I had been fishing all day. The kid looked at me like what kind of idiot is this. He saw my fishing rod and lures and he said Pescado(fish) no bueno(no good) as he pointed to my fishing stuff. He took me over to the high cliff of a muddy bank and grabbed a piece of fruit off of the tree we had been raping. He broke it up into pieces and hucked it over the edge into the swirling river below. After about 5 seconds of swirling in the back eddy of a tree limb out flies a four pound silver fish. And then another on even bigger and another. At this point I felt like the biggest looser ever. With all my experience and fishing tackle this young boy and his fruit already got more action than me. Though I felt like a looser I was now determined to get one. So I grabed a sharp hook and a spool of line and did it like the primitive locals. I hand bombed it out. After being robbed and thinking I had fed the fish full and there was no room left in their stomachs I hooked one good. The boy watched me pull it to shore and step on it dead so fast he must have thought I was going to bite into it or something next. What a freak I must of looked like

So I came up to the shack yelling to my honey that theres no eating iguana tonight. Its fish in the frying pan. Though now she never lets me live up the fact that a boy showed me up. She ate the fish and loved it. The next morning I nearly swam to the ferry at 5:30 am. lol
Heres a pic of the fish after I stepped on it dead

Machaca

A perfect feast for two! HOY! HOY!

MMMmmm my favorite, grilled fish with a fruit compote. Dig it baby!

That's a great story. Nothing better than a well deserved fish. Your only other option.....wrestle a croc!

-Luc