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SD2OR with a trophy fall walleye

Topic: [NKI] The Steelhead Are Still Safe  (Read 2041 times)

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Tinker

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  • Location: 42.74°N 124.5°W
  • Date Registered: May 2013
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I've finished replenishing my horde of fly-tying materials for 2021 and I've sat down at my tying table a dozen times or more, put a hook in the vise, stared at it for 20 minutes, and said, "The hell with it!" and went back to watching some mind-numbing pap on Netflix.

I tie flies specifically for the next fishing trip.  There's not going to be a "next fishing trip" for at least a month, maybe two months... I lack inspiration and motivation.

So, this morning I took a little fishing trip.  No kayaks were involved - you've seen the ocean, haven't you?  Just a quick dash to one of my local rivers where there might be a late steelhead or two still hanging around.  I'm always confident I can catch a steelhead, but I try to be rational about it.  I am, after all, 0 for 24 with steelhead so it's easy to control any wayward exuberance that might bubble to the surface.

Any steelhead still in the river were perfectly safe from me this morning.  I made very few casts - less than six I believe - because some goober wandered down to where I was fishing and started tossing questions at me.

"What are you doing here?"  Well, hmm... Let's see, I'm wearing my tattered, old fedora and my polarized sunglasses, I have a fly-fishing pole in my hand and my bag of paraphernalia is laying on the bank next to me.  I’m fishing.  But he asked, “What are you doing here?” so is he asking me what I think I doing standing here ankle deep in this river?  This is a public access point, so that's probably not it.  Caught off guard, "Fishing…" was the best I could come up with.

"Oh. Uh, okay, what are you fishing for?"  Fish, of course.  But by then I was convinced the fellow wasn't from around here because everyone knows the only fish in the river right now are steelhead.  A tourist!  The possibilities that presents are endless: should I say sharks?  How about tarpon?  Or tuna?  Tuna might be fun.  There were simply too many choices in front of me and I was taking too long mulling over the list, so I just said, "Steelhead."

"Steelhead?  Is that a salmon?"  Aw, crap!  I was in for in now.  That fellow I fish with loves this stuff.  When someone walks up and starts shooting stupid questions at us, I always scoot out of the way and let him handle it.  He loves it, whereas I start wondering why I don't own a Taser.  "No, a steelhead is a trout..." I was resigned to explaining anadromous species and the life cycle of steelhead and the differences between salmon and steehead, but I didn't get a chance.

"A trout!?  There are trout in this river?  No kidding?"  Now I’m wondering if this guy is messing with me.  If so, he's one up on me now and it appears he can think of shit to say more quickly than me.  This is about to get interesting.  Let's let him take a bit of line and see what happens... "Yep. Trout."

"What kind of trout?"  Aha!  He's headed for that snag, but I was ready, "Why, steelhead trout of course. Those trout. The ones I'm fishing for!"

He was quiet for a full ten seconds before he darted off in a different direction.

"Is that a fly rod?"  Gotcha, you peckerhead!  You should have leaped to throw the hook instead of heading downstream.  I steered him away with, "Nope. It's a mooching rod for mooching up a steelhead."

The faint hint of a grin disappeared from his face and his eyes squinted ever so slightly.  One might not have noticed it if one didn't have as much experience with smart-ass Grandchildren as me, but I know those subtle changes in a person’s facial expression.

"Mooching, huh? That works here?"  Dammit!  He didn't ask anything about mooching! I had the game backwards: this fellow is playing me!

"Yep. Works every time."

"Do you use bait..?"  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when it occurred to me that I was standing ankle-deep in a fine little river, wearing my Fishing Fedora and my polarized sunglasses, holding a fly rod in my right hand and a big sparkly fly in my left hand, talking to a butthead AND I WASN'T FISHING.

I stomped out of the river as fiercely as I could, tipped my hat to the fellow, grabbed my gear bag, and headed for the truck.

I'd lost another one.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2021, 09:45:43 AM by Tinker »
I expected the worst, but it was worse than I expected...


YakHunter

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Tuna.  Definitely should have gone with tuna ;D
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Tinker

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  • Location: 42.74°N 124.5°W
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Just for Ray: No, Ray, I wasn't feeling up to snuff but I hoped some fresh air would help.  It might have, too - minus the aggravation.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2021, 01:02:23 AM by Tinker »
I expected the worst, but it was worse than I expected...


[WR]

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Sounds like your antagonist might have wanted the river for himself and tried to play you....

And I'm with YakHunter, Tuna, definitely
Why so many odd typos ? You try typing on 6 mm virtual keys with 26 mm thumbs....


hdpwipmonkey

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Just for Ray: No, Ray, I wasn't feeling up to snuff but I hoped some fresh air would help.  It might have, too - minus the aggravation.
I'm glad you got out there at least
Ray
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