NEW STEELHEAD RIVER UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

NEW STEELHEAD RIVER UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

By Chris Kromer

Thanks to United States Government economic stimulus dollars, there is a new steelhead river under construction in downtown Juneau! A project of this scope has never before been undertaken smack in the middle of a residential and commercial neighborhood.

The government was skeptical about funding the project until learning that the river would be entirely hydro powered. "The green nature of the project really sealed the deal," said project manager Red Salmon. Government funders also wanted answers about where the water would come from. After visiting Juneau on a rainy day, they were able to confirm that anything resembling a stream, ditch, or channel was completely full of running water.

As we go to press, we have mail ordered 2000 adult steelhead to get the program started. On the order form we checked "Big Ones" so we expect the average steelhead size to be impressive.

Even though quite a few historic homes had to be condemned and destroyed to make way for the project, Juneau residents are enthusiastic. Many nearby residents say they are excited about winter steelheading from the comfort of their living room. According to longtime Juneauite Kip Kelt, "I can't wait for January. I'll be swinging flies for monster winter-runs while watching the NFL playoffs! It is going to be awesome."

hehehe   

Now that's a worthy use of imminent domain if I ever heard of one!
Nice one!