It wasn't me...I swear!

So yesterday dawns with me having a day off...finally.  The kids are in school, my wife's at work...time to fish.  Thinking about heading to Sunset, I check the surf report as it's kinda breezy at my house (more of the neighbors kids junk in my yard now than mine).  Surf report is not real good ( 9 foot swells 10-12 apart and the minus tide is about to start rolling back in).  I load everything up anyway, more to make me feel better than anything else, and head out.  I look out into Coos Bay, and see whitecapped waves...crap.  When I get to Sunset, the Bay is almost empty (minus tide), but the waves that are in it are 3-4 feet and curling...with spray blowing off the tops almost back to the following wave. Well, not playing today I guess...maybe chuck jigs from the rocks instead? 

As I'm about to get going, I notice a rather well-fed guy carrying a bright red kayak down to the water.  Hmmm... This could get interesting.  Dude sets it down almost in the water, goes back up to his truck and gets another...and 2 other guys and a kid (grandpa, son, grandson?) pack down a canoe.  I'm thinking "Where's the popcorn"!

Well-fed squeezes into the kayak (still above water in sand) and starts doing the dog-scratching-his-butt-on-the-carpet scoot trying the get down to the water.
Team canoe gets set and starts to push off...oh no, a little wave...and the "son"runs backwards to stay dry (the canoe doesn't even wiggle).
Well-fed still scooting...to nowhere, still about 5 feet from the water.
Team canoe finally is afloat, kinda shakey, but out.  They start paddling, and breaking waves, no big deal...
Well-fed gets out of the kayak and drags it down to the water.  Drops it when a wave comes in and runs backwards away from the water (gotta stay dry), meanwhile the wave starts back out...along with the kayak.  Well-fed runs down after it (being very mindful to stay dry) and starts swatting at the yak with the paddle (another wave finally brings it back enough he can hook it with the paddle).
Team canoe doing lazy figure eights on 3 foot waves...
Well-fed jumps into the yak (standing in the seat) and looks triumphantly at his wife..."See?  I am a MAN!"  Then a little wave washes up under the yak, wiggling it.  Well-fed tenses, and almost falls out.  As the wave goes back out, Well-fed quickly(ish) squeezes down into the seat and starts the dog-butt-scoot again.  Two waves see him finally floating. 
Triumphantly, Well-fed raises his paddle above his head and lets those that care, and those that don't, know that he is "The Man", and starts paddling out.
Meanwhile, still doing circles and figure 8's, team canoe raise there paddles in salute for a job well done.
Well-fed paddles furiously through 2 waves...three strikes and you're out.  On the 3rd wave, he hits it at about a 45 degree angle...and disappears.  The water being waist deep, Well-fed doggie-paddles back up and hurls his paddle at the shore, grabs his yak-o-water and starts wading back to the beach.  A couple waves see him to the beach, and the 3rd wave lifts the yak (with Well-fed now trotting beside) and deposits it far up the sand...upright and still full of water.
Team canoe...still ok.
Well-fed takes his dripping wallet from back pocket and hands it to his not-trying-to-laugh wife. Well-fed then starts trying to roll the yak over...with no luck.

Back to team canoe...just in time to see paddles, arms and legs flailing from underneath.  Up pops the grandson, then the son.  They quickly make their way for the beach.  Up comes grandpa who looks around to find the 2 paddles floating off in 2 separate directions and the upside-down canoe starting out to sea.  He yells at the son, and both make for a paddle. The son grabs the nearest and back to the beach he goes. Grandpa gets his paddle and wades after the canoe. 
Well-fed still grunting, no luck with the yak-o-water.
Son and grandson head to truck, and grandpa drags the canoe to shore (but smart enough to lay it over and empty the water).  Picking it up, he packs it over by Well-fed.
Grandpa and Well-fed roll the yak and empty it, and Well-fed throws up his arms (in disgust?) and heads for the truck.
Grandpa looks at the yak, then at the waves.  Picking up the yak, he gets it in the water. After a couple waves, he gets seated and starts paddling. Faster and faster, he finally gains and gets out, does a couple figure 8's and comes back in.
Grandpa yells to the truck...Well-fed looks to him...Grandpa points at the yak, then the water then back to the beach...Well-fed flails his arms in disgust...

Seeing the shows over, I decide to head to the south jetty...maybe pick up a couple rockfish or greenling.

As I park at the south jetty, I see a larger boat fairly close in.  As I climb up and over the rocks, I see why...and I thought Well-fed was having a bad day!

have pics to go with this...not letting me upload...??

Great post.
I love stupid people, they are so entertaining. 

have pics to go with this...not letting me upload...??

Likely too large a file, or too many. Resize and try again. I'm curious to see.

Very entertaining.

As ndogg said, Awesome Post!

Unlike ndogg, I hate stupid people.  Especially stupid people with kids.  I always feel obligated in situations like that to suit up and wait for the worst.  I've lost track of how many people I've helped from the surf over the years. 

OK, I do get a secret thrill watching people make bad decisions.  But, I'm in good company

-Spot-

That was me.  Helluva day.  I consider myself 'extra nourished' as opposed to 'well fed' though.





Note:  I'm kidding

That was me.  Helluva day.  I consider myself 'extra nourished' as opposed to 'well fed' though.





Note:  I'm kidding

That's beautiful!  Guessing by your avatar you guys were dressed for immersion (which changes stupid to simply ballsey)

I want the counter story!  Pushing your limits is what makes this game fun.  Let us suffer and struggle vicariously.

-Spot-

I hate it when I don't read a post thoroughly!!!  Oh well, I leave my response in-tact for y'all to laugh at. 

Oh my God, after reading your hilarious post, I'm starting to think that Well-Fed is actually my neighbor Karen. She is a large, boisterous woman, with a Hillary Clinton-esque haircut (circa 1994, of course), who could easily be mistaken for a man...and who happens to own a red kayak. She's came home the other day looking quite pissed off and wet. (Then proceeded to sit in her garage all night chain smoking, painting ceramic figurines, and petting her 12 cats). Plus, on occasion she WILL scoot her butt across her front lawn.

..... She's came home the other day looking quite pissed off and wet. (Then proceeded to sit in her garage all night chain smoking, painting ceramic figurines, and petting her 12 cats). Plus, on occasion she WILL scoot her butt across her front lawn.

Now that is funny

Heh, that story cracked me up. Where are the pics though?!

Also what happened the large boat at the end?

yeh the suspense aint fun   

That was me.  Helluva day.  I consider myself 'extra nourished' as opposed to 'well fed' though.





Note:  I'm kidding

That's beautiful!  Guessing by your avatar you guys were dressed for immersion (which changes stupid to simply ballsey)

I want the counter story!  Pushing your limits is what makes this game fun.  Let us suffer and struggle vicariously.

-Spot-

I hate it when I don't read a post thoroughly!!!  Oh well, I leave my response in-tact for y'all to laugh at. 

I just noticed your amended post now, was gonna say you missed a VERY important part of my response 

hahahahahahahaha!!!!!

So here are the pics of the south jetty...this dude was using some serious bait me thinks...

Finally figured how to resize the pics after work today...not exactly the smartest cookie in the barrel when it comes to electronics...computers and cameras...