Not surprising in todays age of “hey everyone look at me” ,hell you can’t look up some simple instructions on the internet with out ever YouTube boob posting a long winded self promotional video ,when you only needed 2 sentences and I pic to get an answer.

I do a lot of fly fishing.  Looks like I need to step up my game on the flowery descriptions or people are not going to know I was having fun.

Pretty funny observation.

Regarding the "dime bright chromers", don't forget to take a pic of the sea lice on the fish's tail. Zoom in real close so we can all see the lice. The lice tells your audience that your fish is superior to the other fish. 

Don't forget the fly rod behind the neck or the rod grip in the mouth in the classic fish picture too!

Geez I don't know how I missed that!! Thanks for including those, very important to remember.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that finds the flowery language over the top.

Don't be a Tinker and over-complicate it.

- Ninety-nine percent of what a trout eats is brown and 3/16th of an inch in size.*

- If you fish the wrong fly long and hard enough, it will sooner or later become the right fly.**

- Fish the early morning or the late evening hours when the predatory birds are less active and you'll find trout near the surface and in the shallows.

That's all you need to know.

You can't fault people who fish with fly rods for over-the-top literary flourishes.  That's how we talk up here on Mt. Olympus and unlike me and that guy I used to fish with, many of us don't bother translating it for mere mortals.



*   Lefty Kreh
** John Gierach

Generic PNW summer steelhead blog post formula - utilize the following phrases and features and you're set:

"Savage take"
"Toilet bowl flush" / "Skaters at dusk"
"Keep 'em wet"
"Tight loops!"
"Hoot owl closure"
"Epic"
*Photo of water spraying on a snap-T cast
*Generic spot nuke photo, preferably taken on the Deschutes River, potentially a newer truck with a rod rack on the front with no less than 6 two-handed rods per fisherperson. No bobbers/indicators.
*Generic beer in $15-25 coozie photo, water in background
*A person wearing a trucker hat and/or buff
*Golden doodle dog

Don't be ridiculous: Beer is for gear-tossers.  We carry Dom Pérignon (1961) in our tackle packs.  (You overlooked the mandatory photos of the 30-liter sling packs we use to carry our gear and champagne).

We wouldn't be caught dead wearing a "trucker's" cap.  Those, too, are for gear-tossers.  Look closely and you'll see the newbie fly-flingers are wearing hats with "SAGE" or "SIMMS" or "LOOMIS" embroidered on them, and those of us who know only the finest will do, wear caps with "WINSTON" or "BURKIE" hand-embroidered into the front panel.  And the cap must have a soft front panel so it slouches on our head; none of those common, everyday, standy-uppy rigid panel trucker's caps for us, by golly.

You also missed the requisite $280 Costa del Mar Fantail sunglasses (with iridium coated glass lenses) or the less desirable $200 Smith Guide's Choice sunglasses (with ChromaPop glass lenses).  After all, if we're standing up to our waist in a river wearing $1,000 waders and $500 wading boots, carrying a $1,200 fly rod mated to a $900 fly reel spooled with a $120 fly line, with $300 line nippers on a $120 gear retractor pinned onto our $350 sling pack - with our $1,000 bottle of Dom Pérignon inside - we absolutely must have exceptional sunglasses to complete the look lest we be ejected from the club.

And when you've done all of that and own all the right gear just to catch an eight-inch trout, you have to take pictures of your gear and wax on about the day poetically because the fish are midgets and if you don't carry on about your stuff, you end up looking like an even bigger idiot than you are.

No one needs to remind us of how silly we fly-fishing idiots can be.  We know.