Make it fit

I'm not an expert on kayaks by any means, but thanks to everyone with massive experience here who has shared over the years, i felt like one yesterday....

Rare Saturday off for me. I went wandering and ended up in Savannah at a big box outdoor retailer.

Decided while i was there to check out the paddlecraft section. After finding the mostly hidden door to it, i was able to slide in and i find a young salesman getting worked by 3 ladies looking to buy new yaks.

Each had a boat on the floor and were debating color and function. Salesman says " you can even take the seats out and use them as a beach chair." Hmmmm.......

I'm about to leave, the tallest taps me on the arm, asks " are you buying a new yak?"  Ummm nooo i was actually here to see what they carry but i am interested in that square stern canoe over there.

Big mistake, she asks" Have you ever been in a kayak?" Welll, heh, yeah i own a few and actually use them to fish from, but it's not like this rec boat you are looking at. It's a sit on top, like that yellow one there.

Meanwhile the sales guy is getting hammered by the other two ladies so he calls in another young guy to help.... both are floundering under a barrage of questions.... Like, "Why does this one have places for your feet and that one doesn't" " Does this one come in red?" "Why did you say this boat is faster than that one?" etc.

So, new friend asks me," How do i adjust the foot pegs?" The boat she is interested in is a 12 foot Ascend rec boat that is probably 39 inches wide. I tell her, ok sit down in the seat and lets see where your feet and the foot pegs meet. I reach in and find the latch, move the right side peg all the way back, then reach over and do the left.... she slides her feet down, her legs are straight out and she cant even toe the pegs... this boat is too big for her. In fact, she could take the seat out, and I could lay down in it in my fart sack and not feel constrained at all.  I tell her, lets see if the seat adjusts forward. She gets out, we lift the seat, the only adjustments are the seat back up and down and the latches to take it out. This wont work.

I tell her, you might want to look for a different boat. "But i like this one".  Sure i can see that, but this thing is way too big for you. The seat doesnt have adjustments worth a crap and you cant reach the pegs to control it. "Oh, that's what those are for?"  Goddess deliver me from visiting firemen, this one is an accident waiting to happen. Yehp thats what they are for.

I tell her, yeh, you control the boat with your legs, hips, and thighs, as well as the paddle.. Get back in and ill show you what you should look for.

Again it's quickly evident the yak is way too wide and the cockpit is designed for Wilt the Stilt, not a 5 ft 11 woman. There's "thigh pads" attached the the underside of the cockpit rim, which she cant make contact with at all, they are that far away. Not good i tell her, especially if you have to turn this puppy. Btw, where are you going to use this? "Oh! We play on the HootchieKootchie " a local river with a name i never really get but sounds like that. Oh ? so it's a dammed up river? Which means you also have some curent to deal with? "Yeh".  Sigh,  Yeh.

Ok, listen you need to get a boat that fits you... All you have here is an accident waiting to happen... This is so big you can't control it. You cant reach the foot pegs, theres no place to make contact with the sides so you can lever the boat with your thighs,... I really think you need to look at a smaller or at least narrower boat.... i catch a flash of surprise and dismay in the young salesguys face as he over hears me tell her this..i just basically said he will have to pull down another boat.... by now he's sweating a storm cuz he's still getting worked over by the other two, and my conversation with this brunette williow stick has suddenly become the center of attention of the others in the room with us...

My phone rings, SLF on the line. I tell Willow Stick, I really have to take this, and start moving away.. I tell SLF, hang on a minute, turn around and tell Willow Stick, "What ever you decide, make sure the boat fits YOU." then walk out and procede to get the hell out of that store.

i really hope they listened. ........

That's funny... even funnier cause it wasn't me!

I see similar where I work all the time, only with customers trying to help other customers...

I use this analogy:
"Let's think about shoes...you don't just buy shoes, you try them on first.  You don't use your buddies shoes...you get your own.  Shoes that one guy likes, the other guy throws away as junk.
Everyones tastes and expectations are different, so get the "shoes" that fit you."

Now, I don't sell shoes (not a Bundy)...just sporting goods.  See it all the time with rods and rifles.
Sometimes, you just gotta laugh.

Chattahoochiee River...I'm guessing you're not a country music fan.

Great story. Admirable patience.


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Dubbed the "music most likely to make you kill yourself" by the UW psychology dept., no i've never been a fan of the genre.

saved by the bell, literally. when i get back home, i'm treating SLF to a real nice evening out for saving my ass .....

Hilarious story!

  Great story Richard,
 I've had similar expirence's at Sportman's Warehouse in Sodotna.People come in with no idea of what they are doing and get an inappropriate salesman that doesn't know any better,just trying to make a sale.But I have also made some lifetime friends by speaking out when the need arises.So..keep up the good work and spread the correct words.Hope those folks can see your insight and wisdumb.Oooops (sorry I could stop the fingers there)

So I'm guessing the U-dub Psychos prefer uplifting melodies from Twisted Sister and 50 cent.

I'm betting Alan Jackson can out fish them all.


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Thanks guys. Reason i'm sharing is that i am soo tired of seeing so many tragedies on the water that negatively impact our sport from all corners. Never met the ladies before, hope they have a great time on the water. Really hope they get better and more expert advice on boat selection too.

Hoppa, I'm a jazz, new age, and classic rock guy...  when on the web like now, i stream internet radio stuff to keep me company.

 while i know the names you are tossing out, i do not know their music.

Just tweaking' yer bobber, I have almost every kind of music on my Pandora stations except rap.

I do appreciate you taking time to be an ambassador for our sport. Hopefully both the customers and sales dudes learned something.

Safety is the first rule for us all.


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